dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
