my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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