i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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