I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Someone signed my nipple.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
