Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
