I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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