Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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