I accidentally burped into my bong.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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