oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
