My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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