This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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