I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
