I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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