Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it was like eating out sand paper
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
