There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
