I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
