I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
