it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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