Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
