READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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