im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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