question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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