So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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