I hate your face
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
