that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize