I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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