my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need water and some morals
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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