it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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