He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
