I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
operation have a gay friend backfired
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
