i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
