i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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