p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
