They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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