Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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