By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
