girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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