Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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