I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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