No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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