When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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