Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
