I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize