nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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