Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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