Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
