Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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