hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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