I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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