are you still at the devil's house?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
