I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
