Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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