you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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