Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
