I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
