How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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