He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize