Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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