Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
