Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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