so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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