I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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