The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
